My Best Friend

My Best Friend

Written by Cassia Sherrill

Let me tell you about my best friend. He is extremely caring and has such a smart mind. Like I am not kidding. He is so smart and could literally do anything he wanted to. Seriously. I have known him since 2nd grade when he stood up to Justin who was bullying me about my new glasses. After that, we became fast friends, and people always thought we were dating. Classic that people would just assume that because a guy and a girl are really great friends that they are dating. Well, that was never Isaac and I. Maybe it would’ve gotten to that point someday if things had been different…

Maria stops writing. She looks up at Isaac’s hospital bed and cringes at the sight of seeing his athletic body in this comatose state. She felt the now familiar sting of the tears as they made their way down her cheeks.

So much had changed in just days. How could life be so normal one day, and then the next your whole world seems like it has turned on its head? It didn’t seem real, and Maria still felt like she was experiencing her life outside of her body. It was like she was watching a movie and seeing all of these terrible things unfold, and yet she still felt numb. Unattached to it all somehow.

Isaac’s parents re-enter the room, interrupting Maria’s thoughts. “Maria, honey, why don’t you go home and get some rest?” Isaac’s mother Lorin suggests.

Letting out a heavy but shaky sign, Maria responds, “I’m fine. What did his doctor say?”

Lorin started to explain but her voice broke before she could get a word out. Isaac’s father, Kevin, put his strong arms around his wife to comfort her. He was clearly just as distraught by the news but was trying to be strong for her. “His doctor said that he has severe brain damage. She said that if he ever were to awaken from this state, which she doubts he ever will, he would not be the same person we have known.” Lorin starts sobbing as Kevin pulls her into a long embrace. “She is suggesting that we take him off of life support.”

Maria stares at the paper she had been journaling her thoughts in. She was staring at her words about Isaac that had quickly morphed into rambling. The slow realization that these words could serve as Isaac’s eulogy started to grip Maria. That all too familiar numb feeling embraced her, and all she could manage to do was stare at the words she had written.

Kevin, very softly, says, “Maria, we have a lot to think about and discuss this evening. We called your parents, and they are on their way to pick you up. We will give you a call when we make our decision or if there are any changes, okay?”

Maria was able to muster the energy to nod, but no words seemed doable in this moment of numbness.

As Maria rode home in silence with her parents, she could not help but wonder what her life would look like without Isaac in it. He made the world around him brighter, and he easily had made her life ten times more fun. She recalled a time in 3rd grade where the two of them were playing at his house, and he had tons of cardboard that he had been collecting for weeks. He had earlier in the week requested Maria’s help in building a secret project. When she arrived, the secret project was so much more exciting than she had anticipated. Isaac was building a rocket ship completely of cardboard. A ship large enough to fit the two of them as they flew to the farthest parts of space. It took them hours to fully assemble the rocket, but they were able to accomplish Isaac’s vision. Together, they sat in the cockpit area of the ship they had built, and Isaac had let out such a sigh of relief. He looked over at Maria and said simply, “Astronauts get to do stuff like this every single day. Except obviously their rockets are cooler.” He started flipping the cardboard switches they had installed inside. “I want to be an astronaut” he mentioned with youthful joy as he started making rocket ship noises and pretending they were preparing for take off. It was in this moment that Maria vividly recalls thinking, Isaac is going to accomplish everything he wants to.

Her parents interrupted her memory to try to carry on a normal conversation with Maria, and Maria answered their questions with simple, one-worded answers until they finally chose to let the rest of the car ride remain silent. When they arrived at the house, Maria immediately went upstairs and ignored the comments from her parents that dinner would be ready soon.

Maria arrived in her room, which was decorated in pinks and blues. It was easy to see that the room was decorated by a young girl. Isaac always teased her about the girliness of her room. He often teased that she had no style when he was the one walking around in gym shorts and astronaut shirts every single day. But Maria was always able to be fiery right back to Isaac. The only thing that adorned the walls of Isaac’s room were pictures, posters, and newspaper clippings of all things space, space travel, and NASA. Maria’s typical comeback was usually along the lines of something like, “Well, at least I am not obsessed with NASA. You nerd!”

She stood still at the door frame of her bedroom, and she couldn’t help but wonder for a second what life would be like without him. I cannot even come into my own room without thinking of him, she thought. How am I going to do this?

Immediately, she regretted even having these thoughts because Isaac was still alive. Why am I acting like he is already gone? You are being ridiculous, Maria. He is going to get better and be fine. She allowed herself to believe that. For now. It helped ease the pain for a moment.

Maria didn’t hear any updates on Isaac for a few days. In those few days, she tried to settle into a numb routine where she attempted being at school and acting normal around all of their friends. Of course, Isaac’s accident was still the talk of the school, and so many people had asked her about him. Everytime they asked, it got harder, even though it should have been the other way around. She could always squeeze out a few lines about his heath and then her throat would start to close up. After that, she would always walk away from the conversation trying to muster the energy to stifle her tears again.

On Wednesday afternoon, Maria was arriving back home when her mother awkwardly started to ask her questions about her day in an overly caring sort of way. The sort of way that she knew her mother had something bad to tell her but was trying to hide it at first.

Maria didn’t want to beat around the topic. “Mom, what’s wrong? Did something happen with Isaac?”

Maria’s mom let out a heavy sigh. “I talked to his father a few hours ago, and they wanted to update us that they have chosen to take Isaac off of life support.” Maria felt her stomach drop, and she dropped down onto the kitchen floor. Her mom knelt down and rubbed her back. “They are going to take him off tomorrow morning.”

Maria sat in silence for a few moments. Processing the sort of information a young girl of fifteen would never think to process. Isaac deserved more than this. He should’ve been-

An idea suddenly entered Maria’s mind, and she quickly jumped up from her position on the floor. “Mom, how quickly can you take me to the hospital?” She started rummaging through the recyclables in the kitchen closet.

“Um…” Her mom was struggling to find the words as she was caught off guard by Maria’s sudden burst of energy. “I could take you in like two hours, but I doubt Isaac’s parents want company right now. They probably want to have this time together.”

“Mom, please,” She looked at her mom with tear-filled eyes. “I have to do something for Isaac. Something he deserves. I have to. Please.”

“Okay, sweetie! I will call them and let them know that you would like to come by to say goodbye.”

Maria nods as she continues to gather cardboard boxes, sharpies, paper, and tape.

A few hours later, she was in Isaac’s hospital room. All she could hear was the sound of the machines that would only keep him alive for one more night. The silence probably should have freaked her out, but being in this silence and hearing his machines helped her feel close to him somehow. It definitely wasn’t the same as having his usual lively personality in the room, but at least she still had him in the room with her for now.

She had pulled together a bunch of papers that she colored black with white stars peeking out here and there. She started by covering the walls of his hospital room with these black starry papers. She taped them onto every surface, and after that, she began to build the rocket. There was enough cardboard to cover the length of his hospital bed’s headboard. She started to piece the cardboard together to build a rocket around Isaac because she wanted him to be the center. She wanted him to be the astronaut she knew him to be. It took her about forty-five minutes to fully shape and tape the rocket to her liking. Once it was done, she stepped back to view her work, and she couldn’t help but laugh. The cardboard rocket looked awful. Nowhere near the one he had created with her back in the day, and Maria knew if Isaac was able to see this he would make fun of her crappy workmanship. And she had to admit she kind of loved that about her crappy rocket. She knew it would make him laugh.

The whole hospital room was filled with all of the things she knew he loved and dreamed of doing and being. He wasn’t conscious to see any of it, but Maria knew he loved it.

None of this was fair. She looked around the room and closed her eyes. Imagining what it would have been like if Isaac really had gotten his opportunity to fly into the skies. Instead of writing a eulogy, she started writing what she imagined life was going to be like for Isaac. The things he would have accomplished. The grownup he would’ve been. The discoveries he would have made. The goals he would have crushed. The great friend he would no doubt have continued to be.

The life she imagined for Isaac brought such a huge smile to her face, and for a brief second, she completely forgot that he wouldn’t be getting any of that. For a brief moment, she forgot how much her life was about to be altered. In this moment, she allowed herself to be completely swept up in her daydream of Isaac’s life. She leaned over, and he smiled up at her! She looked directly into Isaac’s hazel green eyes, and with all the pride in her heart, she said, “I am so proud of you, Isaac.”